Keeping it positive

After a twenty year career in education, I have taken from it many lessons that I now apply everyday in life & within this group. One is how powerful data can be, which is why our surveys are regularly run, and another is that of utilizing a positive mindset. 

For those who have not heard of this concept, a ‘positive mindset’ may just sound like a new catchphrase being bandied around, but really it’s quite simple and we can apply it everyday & even to how we approach our FOTF journey.   

A very simple definition thanks to ‘Twinkl’ (a useful education resource) is:

‘Having a positive mindset, or positive mental attitude, means that you are optimistic about the world around you, and you expect that good things will happen to you. In contrast, a negative attitude, or mindset, indicates that you expect bad things to happen and struggle to perceive the world in a positive way.’ 

So in other words, if you think the best in every situation you are more likely to have a positive result! 

Some of the ways I practice this in daily life include how I word a comment, post or response and thinking ‘Is this framed in a positive way?’ or ‘Could I rephrase this so it comes from a positive place?’ If it doesn’t feel quite right, I look at how I can adjust the language to come across in a more favourable way. I’m not perfect, but this is something I’m always actively working towards. 

As Administrator, I often receive messages in regards to FOTF and many are from people who are in need of support. The tone of many messages can often be quite negative at first, whether it be criticizing a member of the community, a club, a judging decision or the way an event is organized. In order to offer a solution, I generally use education as a key. A past example that immediately comes to mind was when a member sent me a message about a millinery competition & how ‘strange’ the hats all were. Instead of replying defending the competition, I simply sent the member a link to some background information about the history of the competition. After reading the article, the member came back and stated that they could now understand and appreciate the millinery styles and techniques displayed. I see this as a win in changing someone’s perception via education without even a comment offered of my own! 

As an advocate for the growth of FOTF, I believe that we can do much as a community to assist by changing our attitudes. Over the time I have been competing in FOTF, I have seen negative mindsets creep in amongst competitors which does concern me as I see it more as a contribution to its decline. 

The most frequent areas of grievance within FOTF that I have personally been approached about are: 

- how competitions are run & judged

- entrants concerned over others copying their outfits & styling   

I believe these valid issues can be overcome if entrants just take the time to step back, take the emotion out of the situation, then think about how they can deal with issues in a positive way. 

Firstly, we need to remember why we have FOTF competitions. Horse racing clubs are there for the primary business of running horse races. Believe it or not, FOTF is not an ‘entitlement’ and is often thought of with little priority by some clubs. In contrast there are many clubs who take FOTF very seriously and see its benefits to the growth of their clubs. These clubs often run FOTF competitions that are full of vibrancy and joy. The one thing clubs who run many of the popular FOTF competitions have in common are the people behind them that create a positive atmosphere, by giving back their time to FOTF. This hard work and commitment to FOTF trickles down to competitors who are then willing to travel far and wide to these events. Competitions with amazing FOTF competitions certainly don’t get a great name or a huge amount of support by feedback from competitors complaining constantly about what is wrong with their competition; they grow from peoples support and contribution of fresh ideas, positively assisting in helping the event to grow. We must appreciate every competition we are offered, as it is an opportunity to enjoy ourselves and display something we all enjoy, being racing fashion! 

I have been one to encourage others to give feedback to clubs over the years, however when offering this suggestion am not encouraging people to only point out flaws in competitions, but provide positive feedback of what clubs are doing well. Before offering any type of feedback to a club, if an improvement is suggested, offering viable solutions to problems is an instant way of assisting a club. Offering to step up and assist clubs yourself is always another positive tool. If a club is resistant at first, if they see willing volunteers constantly offering their time and fresh ideas, with persistence there may be change! 

Negative comments on social media can also be an issue that does not support the growth of competitions. Often questions, images and discussions are posted on club pages and in FOTF groups, and comments can take a negative tone. It can be as if viewers immediately assume the worst! When clubs and judges are constantly knocked I wonder ‘Will this club lose volunteers or bother running FOTF again?’ & ‘Will sponsors want to support this club if all they are receiving are knocks?’ Apart from the logistics of the event, the people I often feel for the most are the actual winners & how they would feel if they happened upon any of the negative comments online post event, when they were if the belief that they were the genuine winners. I know how it would make me feel! 

In regards to outfit copying, to me it is something not in the forefront of my mind as I do not look at other people, whether in the race-wear scene or someone ‘famous’ for styling ideas. Remember whether we like it or not, in a digital age we are all unintentional ‘influencers’, and others may pick up on the way we have chosen to style a look, even unintentionally. After hundreds of years of fashion documentation, anyone who has educated themselves in fashion would understated that there is very little that is new; most fashion & fashion styling is replicated and adjusted to modern standards, and influence is taken from many places. I am not condoning those who create exact replicas of others millinery or outfits by any means, however choose personally to look at the beauty in everyone’s outfits & the hours they have put into piecing it together, rather than focus on who has ‘copied’ an element of a previous look. I have enough self-confidence in my own style that I do not worry about others. As a recognized local designer once told me of a potential client ‘If you want xxx designer brand, buy that brand. I will not copy it! If you want to work with me you come to me for my own talent.’ Remember, that the development of personal style is best developed by trial and error, in other words, through self education and reflection which is both rewarding and can offer much joy. It is about reflecting on your winning and non- winning looks and thinking ‘what looks great & what can I improve on?’ rather than blaming the judges or a conspiracy theory that the judges are all friends with the competitors, to name a few! 

I personally practice using a positive mindset as much as I possibly can on a daily basis, first and foremost by looking for a positive in every situation, even if it isn’t a particularly great one. In a FOTF sense, a dress ordered online that arrives too long or too large can always be tailored to fit and the excess fabric can be used to help colour match millinery & accessories. An accessory that I love but doesn’t match the outfit I hoped it would this time, can be put away for another event, perhaps the inspiration for a whole new look. The hat that didn’t arrive in time in the mail forces me to look through and reuse what I already have, creating an unexpected beautiful new look. The outfit that didn’t win at an event can be reworn to another event and with fresh judges eyes, may have a different outcome. There is always a positive that can be found, you just need to search for it! 

I understand that in the world there will always be people we don’t necessarily gel with. You will never be everyone’s best friend and in turn are not being asked to be friends with everyone. However we can all show each other courtesy and respect by acknowledging each other and saying hello. I’ve found that positive energy is contagious and a positive outlook can rub off on others! Making my own mind up about people by getting to know them personally is another great tool which I can highly recommend! Learning about people one on one can help you understand more about a person and even grow you a new friend! 

In summary, before you catastrophize about a situation, comment on a situation without knowing all of the facts or write exactly what you are thinking completely unfiltered on social media, take a deep breath and a moment for reflection and think ‘is this helping me & others in a positive way?’. I’m not asking for people to compliment another’s look if they don’t particularly like it, nor am I asking members to praise what they don’t like. I believe that there is beauty in every look, even those that may not appeal to you at first glance. Commending others on their efforts, whether it be as simple as the colour they are wearing suiting them, an accessory that works well or the persons smile, can do much to a persons confidence and encourages them to take another chance! Let’s make the post with the most likes and comments those celebrating others. 

On a personal note, I also choose to surround myself with other people who value a similar mindset, as positive people do have a tendency to rub off their sparkle on each other!

Emma Scodellaro March 2022